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by Erin Lynne, December 17, 2008
Things Great About Being Single When You’re 30…
1. I don’t have to entertain my in-laws.
2. I don’t have to watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse sixteen times a day
3. There are never any unexpected messes in my house
4. I can go wherever I want whenever I want and stay however long I want (and not just on vacations—for dinner, to shop, after school…)
5. I never have to get up in the middle of the night
6. I can lay diagonally on my bed
7. Spontaneous trips
8. There are no car seats crowding my backseat
9. I can lay on my couch in my PJ’s all day and not feel bad about it
10. I don’t have to pretend to like soccer because my kids play
11. My toilet seat is always down.
12. No learned helplessness (I can hang curtains, paint a room, fix a leaky pipe)
13. Shopping alone
14. I can “run in” somewhere in less than 5 minutes
15. It only takes me 30 minutes to get ready
16. I never have to have sex if I don’t want to
17. When I finish my laundry, the hampers are empty
18. I do laundry once a week, and it takes 3 loads.
19. I can paint my walls whatever color I choose
20. I can decorate however I want
21. I can cook (or not cook!) whatever I want for dinner
22. I can buy whatever I want when I want it (even an iPhone!)
23. No one bothers me when I am on the phone or trying to watch TV.
25. I’ll never have to drive a mini van.
26. No childcare issues
27. Total control of the remote
28. Total control of the thermostat
29. Peaceful dinners alone
30. I don’t have to worry when I eat onions, garlic, etc.
31. No toothpaste spit all over the sink
32. Bathroom privacy
33. My house is as clean (or dirty!) as I want it to be
34. I can change clothes wherever, whenever
35. I can go to bed as early or as late as I want
36. My money, my budget
37. I can do all of my laundry in an evening
38. The shower has only my sundries, and I can have three kinds of shampoo and conditioner in there and no one will complain about it!
39. I can leave my straightener and blow dryer out on the sink all the time (and my make up for that matter)
40. I only have to get myself ready for church
41. I only have to get myself into church
42. I can sleep wherever I want
43. I don’t have to stick my nose in someone’s butt to check for dirty diapers
44. If I do something ridiculous, there’s no one there to make fun of me
45. No whining in my house!
46. I only have to put up with kids when I want to
47. I can buy all of the obnoxious toys I want for my friends kids with no worry of repercussions! I bet Carter would LOVE a drum set!
48. I don’t have to clean boogers off the shower wall (I had no idea this was even an issue!)
49. The front of my refrigerator is neat and tidy
50. No one reads the Sunday paper before I do (because I like it to be neat and in order when I read it—it’s okay, I know I have OCD…)
51. I can stay at a party as long as I want
52. No abandonment issues
53. I don’t have to referee all day
54. I can have a drink without my kids telling me it’s bad
55. I can read a book without the TV on
56. I can walk through the house knowing that when I stop, a line full of kids won’t run into me.
57. Only white solid lights on my Christmas tree
58. I can use the computer without someone crawling on my lap and banging the keys.
59. During a Parent/Teacher conference for a child who is misbehaving, I am always on the other side of the table!
60. No one tells me I am mean because I can’t afford to treat them like a mini-celeb
61. There’s no one around who thinks farting is funny.
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